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Can you think of anywhere abroad which has some connection with his hobby — which would provide an excuse to visit? But you sound a resourceful, interesting woman who’ll quickly adjust and use your glorious free time well. Even so, I have a nagging worry that there may be an attraction between the pair of them although there’s been no real evidence to suggest it and my husband is vehement that it’s not the case. Is there not a danger that with continued contact something could build between them?

I can’t help thinking that the meeting after all the intervening years may be cosmically ordained and they are the romantic lovers meant to be.

She says: ‘He’s so rude, yet he was always so nice. Have you pointed out that when such an interest becomes so consuming, it slips into obsession?

I can’t believe how much he has changed and become so selfish — does this happen to a lot of people or is it his medicine? It sounds as if he’s reached that stage and needs to be told unequivocally that his selfish absorption is harming his marriage.

But I would like your advice as to how I can persuade my husband to participate in joint activities with me, as I would love to travel in his company because I love him dearly and miss him when I am on holiday without him.

Last modified 17-Mar-2020 20:30