At the same time avoiding emotions often results in quite negative consequences, while accepting allows emotions to pass and helps build resiliency.
Validating yourself will help you accept and better understand yourself, which leads to a stronger identity and better skills at managing intense emotions. Notice that mindfulness and self-validation go hand in hand.
Being mindful of the thoughts you are having and the feelings you are experiencing is necessary before you can validate that internal experience. These levels can also be applied to self-validation.
You will also have feelings that you know aren't justfied.
If you fight the thoughts and feelings, or judge yourself for having them, then you increase your emotional upset.
Maybe you are afraid when people argue because in the past arguments led to your being hurt. It’s normal to feel sad, angry, hurt, ashamed, or any other emotion.