After years of dating, I’ve finally worked out my type: a skinny guy with a big nose and a manic sexuality.The schnoz and the lanky limbs are the constants, but the manic component is the variable—whether the guy has ten girls on rotation, or is caught up in a sex scandal, or is just overtly sexual in a way that makes some people uncomfortable, the takeaway is: Nothing gets me wet like sexual compulsion.After I saw the movie all I could think was: That is my dream man.
Unfortunately, when these sexual maniacs stop being two-dimensional fantasies and start being your boyfriend, things get a bit more complicated.
For example, the greatest—or at least most interesting—love affair of my life so far was with an ex-editor of mine, “Malcolm.” A sexual force of nature, he possessed the rare ability to ask people pointed questions about their sex lives in a way that felt casual rather than creepy.
But nowadays, any halfway ‘woke’ guy knows that because of the patriarchy, you have to recognize that you’re always one step away from being predatory.
Still, I do think there’s a moral path for men who don’t want to pursue the conventional domestic existence.
In our increasingly safe-spaced culture, it’s increasingly unchill to be sexually out of control—which is kind of a bummer, because being restrained isn’t very sexy (unless it’s, like, for bondage purposes).