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I pick his wallet and keys up off the counter and put them in the cabinet directly above the counter where he left them. My husband LOVES it when I *innocently* question him. I LOVE to give him a play by play of who all the cast members of my Real Housewives shows are! When he farts, smack him and tell him how despicable he is. Pretend to get the big o, then immediately fall asleep before he’s “done.” 35.

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And let’s not forget the time he banned me from Craigslist! Paste his head onto other people’s bodies and post them on your blog. If you run out of questions about the show, start making random comments about your parents, his parents, the kids, etc. When he starts the show again, start talking again. Wait until your husband goes out of town for the weekend and repaint the bedroom pink. My guy HATES it when I clean the garage when he isn’t around.

That would be the sound of his toenails clicking together. I gave away Even Steven’s Bengals clock at our last garage sale, and he hasn’t stopped talking about that. Post pictures of him sitting on the toilet on your blog – or on your Facebook account. Wait until he’s in the middle of his favorite show and then ask him all sorts of banal questions about it. Makes them have warm fuzzy thoughts of you in the AM. I wait for him to go for his lazy afternoon nap on his day off….

I like to follow him all around the house when he’s getting ready for work in the morning, talking the entire time about the last phone conversation I had with my mom (or sister). Just asking.” or “Are you really going to wear those pants with that shirt? I turn the channel to HGTV (which he hates) and then I hide the remote. sneak in to the bathroom (don’t worry this is G-rated) and throw ice water over the top of the shower curtain. When you are really annoyed re-arrange the kitchen then forget to tell him where everything is. As soon as he gets home follow him around like a puppy chatting non-stop till he tells you to stop and catch your breath. As soon as he gets home ask him to take you somewhere to get something stupid like a soda.

Last modified 23-May-2020 07:03