In this week's Sex Talk Realness, speaks with three twentysomething women about their (very different) experiences with Tinder. I realized I could spend hours swiping and some of the "DTF" or similar messages I was getting were creeping me out because that's not what I was on it for. Woman A: During that period I used it daily, if not multiple times a day. Woman A: Sometimes it was just a way to amuse myself by playing hot or not, or by trading silly messages with someone I never planned to meet up with. I found it dangerously useful for meeting men who lived in my neighborhood in NYC, which was really convenient when I was single and is annoying now that I see someone I met on Tinder every time I go to brunch. In five months I saved 10 dudes in my phone as "[First Name] Tinder." I maybe met up with eight of them? I like meeting new people and I don't see the point in using the app if you just want to text a stranger! Woman A: I had great luck and met lots of charming, smart, handsome dudes. Woman B: One of my most remarkable dates was with a man who invited me to the food court at his office building for a lunch date, and spent most of the time telling me about how he wanted to buy me beautiful lingerie and watch me try it on.
Read what MEN really think about using Tinder here. Woman B: Once or twice a week, depending on whether I'm actively having a conversation with someone or just browsing through. Sometimes it was a more mercenary approach — I wanted to get laid, or I was just restless and wanted to get out of the house. Woman C: Yes, one guy because he was really keen to meet. Our date ended when he took out his phone and showed me a picture of his penis. It was the first date I'd ever been on so I have limited means of comparison, but I think the mistake was that we spoke on Whatsapp (the Tinder UX is too annoying) for six weeks before we met.
She is an example of how confounding it can be to shift from a platonic relationship to a sexual one.
To a selfish man with commitment phobia, it might sound like the perfect relationship — a close female friend with whom they can enjoy companionship, shared holidays, a good laugh . There is even a term for it — Friends With Benefits — the supposed benefit being that the friends not only enjoy each other’s company, but sleep with one another, too.
For a growing number of young women, sleeping with a friend is no longer a taboo but a lifestyle choice.
Yet intimacy has a profound effect on the emotions, which can be very confusing, especially for women.’‘Men, however, are biologically programmed to sow their seed and seem able to disconnect emotionally from sex in a way that women cannot.
So friends with benefits relationships are often more emotionally confusing and upsetting for women.’‘We meet up every couple of weeks, go for a drink or see a film.
They see each other and sleep together until one of them meets someone else, at which point the physical side of their friendship stops. ‘But we started teasing each other and there was definitely a spark between us.’‘One moment we are all lovey-dovey, the next we’re messing about like pals.