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Later in our relationship we read Joshua Harris's book that is now titled Sex Is Not the Problem (Lust Is) -- our copy, printed in 2003, is called Not Even a Hint.

Again, this gave us the vocabulary and opportunity to discuss some specific struggles we faced and to talk about our thoughts on sex as we looked toward marriage.

There's also a ton of practical advice in these books.

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What Joshua Harris suggests is that it eats up a lot of time and emotion to "date" anyone you can't envision being with long-term.

Interestingly, what I took away from this is the opposite of the traditional Christian idea, as well as cultural message, for women that seeking a spouse is an important part of your life.

If I had come from a conservative, evangelical background, then perhaps his books would have reinforced for me ideas like "men are the head of the family" or "men and women have unique and specific roles decided by their genitals." But that's not where I was coming from when I read Boy Meets Girl.

I attended public school up until college and was raised by a very liberal-leaning mother.

Danielle at From Two to One and I responded that we'd read his books, taken valuable advice from them, and both ended up in healthy relationships married to feminist men. You may remember that I actually recommended one of Joshua Harris's books, Boy Meets Girl, in my first ever Three Books on Thursday post on Three Books Every Couple Should Read, with the caveat that I don't agree with all his views.

Last modified 28-Mar-2020 04:10