You had too much going on during your divorce to possibly consider dating. This same script, I’m reminded, played out in the life of one of my favorite clients who fell in love with a separated man.
Therefore, you seem to think all men should feel the same way. But you are correct in proceeding with a sense of caution. Not because he listed himself as divorced but is really separated. He gave a lot to her during their time together, but, when it got right down to it, he really needed to sow his oats for awhile.
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He’s doing what’s practical not to scare people off.
The relationship might have been dead five years ago, but the paperwork is still pending. A man who says he’s ready to move on isn’t necessarily ready to move on. After all, he doesn’t even know if he is or if he isn’t.
On the topic of visiting, he lived and lives about two hours away.
I held him while he cried and I said we would work it out.
We exchanged greetings and talked about work and he came up with this extraordinary fact about the city I worked in that was totally connected with what I did. Instead, I was such a ball of emotions, that I started crying. How could someone like me--tough and strong, or so I thought--stay? I hate to retort to pushiness and being a nag, but in some ways, I have every right. I have given more to him than I ever thought I would give to any man. Where there are kids involved and especially a young one on the way, then there is too much of an attachment for him to return to his wife.