Five years after the end of our marriage I still cannot help having twinges of bitterness at those lost 26 years of my life.But could the older, wiser me have talked the smitten 25-year-old me out of embarking on the relationship all those years ago?I hadn’t had much experience with men, and didn’t realise that our relationship was far from normal.
I really enjoyed his company: he was sophisticated, well travelled and interesting, and I was smitten within weeks.
While I didn’t give the age gap a second thought, everyone else was horrified.
I was convinced he was ‘the one’ and that we were going to grow old together.
What hadn’t crossed my mind was that Carol had an enormous head start in that department. He’d been married before and was reluctant to commit again.
And I — far from being the ‘hot young bimbo’ — was, at 45, more like his carer. He already had two daughters from his first marriage, who are now in their 40s, and even though I would have loved to have had children, I foolishly allowed myself to be bullied out of motherhood.