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Her friend went to her house, where Ashley had apparently left her phone, and her car and the front door was wide open. When she refused I said that I would and lo & behold, Ashley shows up. Didn’t know you cared about me so much lol.’ The next day I go to work. “I’m talking to this beautiful girl, and we eventually make plans to meet at a local pub. He had this weird look in his eyes that screamed ‘awkward 27-year-old that has never seen a boob and is creepily close to his mother.’ I sat down with him, and he put his hand on my leg. He just sort of chuckled and rolled his eyes and put his hand back on my leg.

I usually leave my phone in my truck until lunch, so when I went out for lunch at noon, I had 115 new texts and 48 missed calls. I slapped his hand away, stormed out of the theater, and he followed right after me going ‘What?

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The conversation was terrible, but I noticed she was taking the chicken fingers and ripping them up in her hands and putting the breading in her huge purse. She smiled and said, ‘Oh, I’m just feeding Sammy,’ and pulled out a fat chinchilla from her purse. Turns out I was on a date with the guy’s roommate.” 3.

She plopped the thing in the middle of the table, and it just kinda chilled out. “I got to know a nice gal for a few weeks before we decided to meet up for a hiking date.

I played with the chinchilla a bit, and she kinda got mad at me for playing with it and back in the purse it went.” via GIPHY 2. We got along okay, the conversation went well, and in the course of the date, he asked me about bad dates I’ve been on. She only wanted to communicate through email or the dating site – which I thought was odd but just went with it. She’s married and her husband is a jealous, gun-collecting hunter type who she’s thinking about leaving.” via GIPHY 4. Eventually he asked if I’d like to see his flat, and I said yes.

He had loads of swords and machetes on the wall and decided to hold one to my throat to show me how incredibly strong they were.” 5.

It means people have to actually read your profile.

Last modified 19-Sep-2019 13:47